An affair with a married man can be feel exciting due to it’s newness as well as passionate and fun, however you should also think about the negative consequences that come with having an affair with a married man such as the fact that it can be a huge time waste, you can end up with a broken heart, your reputation can be ruined, etc.
An affair with a married man will leave someone hurt; either yourself, the man you are having an affair with, or both of you. It can also hurt his family, both his wife and kids, and can put a strain on any friendships you have with other people.
That isn’t to say that there aren’t any affairs that end happily – some second marriages have come about from an illicit romance, however it should be noted that the majority of the time, outside relationships do not end well as most married men will not leave their wives. Sure he may be telling you that he’s waiting for the right time to tell his wife about the affair and getting a divorce, but this is typically just a stall tactic to keep the relationship going with you, his mistress. If kids are involved (assuming they are of young age), then that makes it almost certain that he won’t be leaving his wife, even if the marriage is loveless as the children are the silver lining to the unhappiness of his marriage. The fear of what other people may think will prevent him from leaving as he won’t want to be the ‘bad guy’ in their eyes.
So, knowing that an affair is not a great idea, the question is, should you still have an affair with a married man?
That really depends on you, but you should evaluate why you are seeking to be with a married person in the first place as opposed to someone who is single and available. You need to realize that the relationship with the married guy will have a glass ceiling if he doesn’t leave his wife which means that your relationship with a married man will start to get stagnant. For a healthy relationship, it’s important to be with someone where there’s constant progression and growth.
Some other long term factors that you should consider is if this married man is someone that you really want to be with or are you only with them now due to the mystery, passion, and secretiveness that the affair brings? Also, even if he does leave his wife, will you be able to trust him and know that he isn’t cheating on you? Remember, the relationship that you are building with him started with sneaking around and lies.
These are all important things to consider before going off to have an affair with a married man. While many people may look down on you, in the end you must do what you think will be best for you, even if it does mean pursuing such a relationship. Just realize that there are potentially a lot of negative repercussions to your actions if you do decide to enter into a relationship with a married man.