This post was sent in from a reader of the blog. This is part 1 of his Ashley Madison experiment. Check back in the next week for part 2 as he gives the details of how each of his dates went.
I decided that it was time for me to have an affair (forget the fact that I’m actually in an open relationship, so technically it wouldn’t be cheating), and to do so by using Ashley Madison to find me some married women (What… it’s not my fault if they aren’t getting the goods at home!).
One thing you should understand is that even though I am in an open relationships, I am pretty much the type of person who does like monogamy. I don’t have any problems staying true to my lover, however I pass no judgements to those who have an affair, especially since most people who cheat are getting their needs fulfilled at home and could be in a situation where they can’t split, either due to kids, finances, a combination or some other reason. I feel that Ashley Madison and sites like it are providing a fantastic service and that the under-attentive spouse just might be getting what they deserve by being cheated on. Anyway, I figured pursuing married women on Ashley Madison would be perfect for my situation as it would perhaps allow me to see just how good the sit was without getting into too complicated of a situation!
Compared to the ceaseless questions one needs to answer when filling out a Match.com profile, answering out the questionnaire for my Ashley Madison profile felt much like going through the EZ Pass lane. The process is actually extremely quick as you don’t need to reveal all that much about yourself, which given the fact that most people using the site want to have an affair discreetly, it would seem to make sense.
As you can see from the above photo, all you need to do to start browsing the site is come up with a user name and fill out a few vitals (which most people probably fib about… at least I did).
You then have the option to fill out a bit more about yourself after signing up for an account. You can put up a photo (though if you’re married, you may want to put it in your private showcase), check off a couple of boxes as to your intimate desires (light kinky fun… what no heavy, Rick James bondage?, exploring with sex toys, etc.) , what your perfect match entails (tattoos, body piercings… typical stuff), and what your personal interests are (daring rendezvous, skinny dipping.. these I get but watching sports? Isn’t that a reason why some women are using the site in the first place… because their husbands are too busy watching the football game?). At the end of each of these sections, you can add a few lines but in the end it’s still fairly depthless.
As I was filling out my profile, I decided to be honest about how much I weighed and what my age was (north of 30, however south of 200). I put down that I was willing to try “anything at least once” (anything?), and put myself down as single, since there wasn’t a box for the rather complicated situation I was currently in. (However I am in a bit of shock that they didn’t have an “It’s complicated” box… you know for those in the process of divorce, people who were engaged but curious, etc. Of all places, I figured Ashley Madison would be sensitive to all the possibilities someone could possibly be in!)
I must confess, my initial experiment with Ashley Madison ended up as a failure. I think I wrote to at least 10 women, if not more, but pretty much ended up with no responses. On Adultfrienedfinder I had more success. The one response I did receive aroused some suspicion as her photos were quite revealing. My suspicions were right after she asked me to join a webcam site to verify my age… how stupid did I look in my photos? Anyway, I decided to call it a week and it appeared that the moral fabric of the U.S. of A was safe… at least for the time being.
After a two week hiatus, I decided to make a few changes to my profile. Instead of listing myself as single, I put down that I was attached and looking for a woman (as opposed to listing myself as single) and I decided to try contacting women without photographs. While I’m not much for blind dates, when using Ashley Madison, if you want to actually have an affair, it’s a good idea to be willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Things all of a sudden changed for me. My inbox was starting to actually get some use as I was finally receiving replies back from some of the women that I tried emailing. Apparently a lot of women are very scared of getting caught which is why they don’t publicize their photos.
I ended up meeting with four different women, three of whom I had contacted and one who had actually initiated contact with me. They all varied in age, from late 20′s to early 40′s; there was a slim fashionista who appeared to be the love child of Gina Gershon and the daughter in The Incredibles; a likable giantess who resembled Lindsay Davenport; a bright-eyed, more voluptuous, version of Faith Hill; and finally a feisty, confident, Eastern European who could have been a double for Mila Kunis. By the time I met all these women, I had already gone through the pleasantries of exchanging photographs as well as some conversations on the phone.
… part 2 was promised to be sent in within the next week…